Was Yi Sowon really the only annoyance? Wherever Yunseo went, he made everyone his person. And so while he had thought it a good thing that Yunseo grew attached to this palace, on the other hand there had been more than one or two times he had felt the wicked impulse to sweep everyone away from Yunseo's side.

He had wanted to lock him in a palace only he could enter, and spend the whole day doting on him, gently melting body and mind. Those clear eyes, that bright laughter, those warm and gentle hands — in secret, so no one would know. So that no one could covet him.

If he had not been the Son of Heaven, if he had been nothing more than an ordinary man and not a dragon-descendant — would he have been able to do that?

He pushed away the meaningless thought and fed Yunseo the porridge. When he could not swallow well, Hwi would pass it from his own mouth — and each time, from somewhere behind him, Yi Sowon would make small, stifled sounds, swallowing her gasps.

Yunseo's body, which had been on the thin side to begin with, was growing more gaunt. Even his plump cheeks had grown hollow, so now even caressing them required care. Hwi spent roughly half a shichen stubbornly feeding Yunseo the porridge, then set down the empty bowl.

As silence filled the sleeping quarters, Hwi attuned his ear to Yunseo's heartbeat. Listening to the steady pulse made the reality of Yunseo being right here settle his heart into quiet — yet at the same time, an anxiety as though he were clinging to the very end of a lifeline that Yunseo's life hung from scratched at his fingertips.

The anxiety soon spread into an unfamiliar fear and gnawed at his skin like a rat gnawing at wood. Hwi took the short blade from his robe and without a moment's hesitation drew it across his palm.

A sharp pain spiked — and the formless fear stopped expanding. The metallic scent of the blood that seeped out brought reality back. He repeated again and again to himself: Yunseo was alive, and no hallucination or dark thought had any meaning.

The wound slowly closed. Hwi watched the recovery of a dragon's constitution that left no scar, with an impassive eye. Yet having drawn across the same place every day for three months, and without even receiving treatment — faint marks were beginning to remain.

"…Are you all right?"

Yi Sowon asked in a voice tinged with fear and bewilderment. Hwi then remembered that Yi Sowon was still here, and composed himself as he put the short blade back into his robe.

"Her Majesty the Empress… told me that even the likes of me was her person. But if she knew that Your Majesty was harming your own body… would she not be deeply grieved?"

"Then you need only keep your mouth shut."

"…She may be listening."

Turning his gaze slowly, Yi Sowon, though frightened, continued steadfastly.

"If she is listening, she will be sad. And even after she wakes, she will be sad."

He is listening.

Hwi turned those words over and looked back at Yunseo. Yi Sowon had spoken with certainty that Yunseo would wake. That he would wake.

And yet — what was he himself afraid of?

Even this person was certain of it — what was he failing to believe?

He clasped tight the hand that now held only the fading echo of pain. He wanted to welcome the Yunseo who would wake with clean and warm hands. So then…

Thud, thud, thu-thud, thu-thud, thu-thud…

Hwi's expression stiffened in an instant.

"The royal physician! Call the royal physician!"

At the urgent cry, hurried footsteps rang out beyond the door. Hwi quickly reached out to check Yunseo's pulse. His heartbeat was slowing, faltering. As if fading out.

"Yunseo."

He could not wait for the physician to come. And even if she came — what could she do?

Hwi stared blankly at Yunseo for a moment, then gritted his teeth and channeled his sacred energy into him. This power could not save Yunseo, and he himself was a powerless being who could only depend on Yunseo's protection — but if Yunseo was wandering at death's door, he hoped this worthless power might perhaps serve as a guiding light.

The royal physician rushed in. She hastily took Yunseo's pulse and reached for her needles. Hwi called Yunseo's name endlessly in his mouth and swept through his body. Yunseo's protective star, faintly adrift, brushed past him.

Thu-thud, thu-u-thud, thu-u-thud…

Please.

Please, Yunseo.

Hwi's eyes became bloodshot. He bit down on the inside of his cheek and blood seeped, pooling beneath his tongue. Hwi poured out his sacred energy as though desperately pulling a lifeline taut.

In that moment — a sensation of something caving in beneath his hand — and then his sacred energy was sucked violently somewhere. Followed by what came after: a detonation. As though the sacred energy had exploded.

Thu-u-thud, thu-u-thud, thu-thud, thu-thud, thud, thud, thud…

The royal physician, who had been about to insert a needle, faltered. Her hand moved toward Yunseo's abdomen. The physician examined Yunseo carefully and then bowed her head.

"The pulse has returned."

Yi Sowon sobbed and let out a breath of relief. Hwi reflexively grabbed Yunseo's wrist — then quickly lifted his fingers away, afraid that even so small a touch might hurt him.

While the physician placed needles in Yunseo's body, Hwi — for the first time — was like a man who had just realized his next step was the edge of a cliff, and looked at Yunseo the way one looks down over that cliff's edge.

Why — did his own karma come to be directed at him?

Was that ultimately the reason it came back to him?

He could not bring himself to curse the heavens, fate, or the shackles. In the end, it was none other than himself who had drawn Yunseo into this place.

'From now on, I will stand by Your Majesty's side.'

How is it that you love me so? I could not let go of a single thing, and so I dragged you down here — yet still.

He himself loved Yunseo yet could not abandon or relinquish a single thing, had sought to take even him at the end — and so Hwi could not believe how Yunseo's heart could remain so unchanged even after losing and surrendering so much because of him.

And so Yunseo's love was at times like a mirage that might vanish at any moment, and like a short dream given to him in the middle of the day.

"Yunseo."

If only he would live — he could give up everything now.

That is, all of it.

Even you.

* * *

He did not know how much time had passed. There was nothing by which he could tell the passage of time at all. It made him feel at ease — yet for no reason, he was also vaguely anxious.

It clearly felt as though he had lost something, but he could not recall what it was. No matter how much he turned it over in his mind, he could not make it out — so he only sat there blankly, directionless and adrift.

A light swept past before his eyes and Yunseo's blurry vision sharpened. Without this earthworm, he would probably have been terribly lonely by now.

"What really is your name?"

He could not have a conversation with the earthworm, but there was a kind of communication. The earthworm wriggled closer and tapped the back of his hand.

"Do you want me to give you one? Hmm, since you give off light from your body, a name related to light would suit you well. Something like…"

A certain character hovered at the tip of his tongue, but could not push its way out past his lips and got stuck. He moved his tongue again and again in frustration, but no character could be completed.

Suddenly his body went limp and listless. A gut feeling that something was wrong came over him. Again longing — that definition — swelled and spread over his skin, slowly eroding it. Yunseo petted the earthworm, then sprang to his feet and began to walk.

It felt as though all of this was happening because he had not gone where he needed to go. Yunseo retraced his steps, as though possessed, with a powerful, fixed intent.

The earthworm hurried frantically after Yunseo, seeming panicked as it moved in a zigzag through the air. Its tiny body tossed about pitifully, yet it barely entered his eyes. Only the single thought that he had to cross that river filled his head and drove Yunseo's feet forward.

When the long dark river came into view, a feeling of relief spread through him at having finally reached his destination. A sense of release flooded in — that he could at last put an end to everything.

The thick black fog lying beyond the river was alluring. If he could cross it and reach that place, even this heavy body would find freedom.

Yunseo headed busily toward the ferry dock where the boat was moored. The earthworm bit the back of his hand again, rubbing its body against his ankle in a movement that looked like an attempt to stop him — but nothing could hold Yunseo back.

This was the world of absence. He would no longer endure a place where absence existed. Even if it meant forgetting that something was absent.

His chest swelled as though bursting with feeling. A pounding as if being chased. His footsteps, having reached the ferry dock, were something even Yunseo himself could not stop. The faceless ferryman seemed to be grinning with a split mouth. Just as he lifted one foot to step into the boat—

Light exploded before his eyes.

Yunseo was soaked in that light as it was. An boundless longing touched each and every down on his skin, and as he stood within the spreading light, the emotion that had only been a definition began to make a thread.

Deep within his chest, a trembling began.

It was not lost. Something very precious and desperate was inside him. Something that resembled this light. He still did not know what it was — but he must never, ever forget it.

He looked down blankly, and the earthworm was letting streams of light fall weakly, one after another. As if weeping.

Yunseo carefully knelt down and held the earthworm in his hands, and burst into tears.

"Where should I… go?"