Chapter 47

Jin Wang's gaze was blazing. The curve of his lips was perfectly measured.

Even at a moment like this, there was still about him that unhurried command of the entire situation — an authority born of years spent at the highest pinnacle, an air that could only form through long years of occupying an unassailable position.

Ye Shu seemed to have had his capacity for language stripped away. His lips trembled faintly. Not a single word came out.

He didn't know how to answer.

Faced with Jin Wang's question, he couldn't deny it. He didn't even have the courage to lie.

Ye Shu would likely never have a more wretched moment in this life than tonight — perhaps because he was truly, absurdly slow in some things, or perhaps because he had never allowed himself to think about it. Had never dared.

He didn't belong to this world. He had even made use of feelings that were never his to use, and made use of the person standing before him.

He was the last person with any right to consider these things.

Ye Shu had always harbored a near-avoidant mentality toward this world. As long as he didn't grow attached to anyone or anything here — as long as he kept treating this as a world inside a book — he could do anything to survive.

He could deceive with any number of lies, and leave at any time.

But the moment he started to sink into it, everything would become different.

So he had told himself over and over in his heart — don't care, don't take it seriously, everything happening here is unreal.

Until tonight, when Jin Wang laid bare before him every thought he had refused to think, and refused to acknowledge.

"If you hadn't brought things out into the open tonight, I was going to wait a little longer." Jin Wang pinched Ye Shu's cheek lightly and laughed. "I've never seen anyone like you. I am a sovereign — what have you been taking me for? A tool for relief?"

"Of — of course not!" Ye Shu pressed his lips together. "I…"

His voice was dry. The words wouldn't come.

Jin Wang stopped pressing him. He straightened up a little and waited in quiet.

Ye Shu drew a deep breath and said slowly: "I… want to think for a few more days."

Jin Wang's eyes shifted. Ye Shu quickly continued: "Just a few days — I'll give you an answer. Tonight has had too much — I… I'm in a mess right now. I don't even know…"

"It's all right." Jin Wang soothed, ruffling his hair. "If you can't sort it out, think about it tomorrow. Take as much time as you need. A Shu — it's all right. Don't push yourself."

The rims of Ye Shu's eyes grew warm. He covered it by looking down and burying his face in Jin Wang's chest. "…Why are you suddenly being so kind to me."

Jin Wang was momentarily taken aback.

Ye Shu's voice was muffled. "Couldn't you be like you were before? The way you are now, I…"

Ye Shu gripped his sleeve. A faint catch came into his voice.

"If I weren't kind to you, you'd be cursing me." Jin Wang stroked his hair gently. "And besides — if I weren't like this, what if you ran again?"

Jin Wang pulled the blanket around the person in his arms and leaned close to his ear. "I was deceiving you just now — I was actually very worried tonight."

"The Duke Protector's fief is thousands of li from the capital. Setting aside whether the journey would be bearable for your body — if you had truly gone there, how would I ever see you again." Jin Wang sighed. "My little consort is always dreaming of escape. Can you blame me for trying my best and putting in the effort to keep you here?"

"…Dog emperor." Ye Shu said quietly. "I knew you had ulterior motives."

Jin Wang laughed.

"All right — time to rest." His hand moved down and settled on the small, gently rounded belly. "Even if you're not tired, the child must be."

Ye Shu blinked.

Oh right — the physician had specifically said that this was the period when the baby was growing fastest, and he absolutely had to sleep early and keep his energy up.

…He'd almost forgotten about the little one.

Ye Shu obediently lay down and closed his eyes. His breathing soon became steady.

Moonlight flowed coldly into the hall. The silence was so complete that only the even breathing of two people remained. After a long time, Ye Shu quietly opened his eyes.

…He couldn't sleep.

After all of this, if he could sleep, it would be a miracle.

Ye Shu looked up. The person beside him had his eyes quietly closed, breathing calmly and evenly.

In the moonlight, Ye Shu could clearly see the long, fine lashes on that face — like two small fans casting a soft shadow below.

In this world or in the novel, Jin Wang was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

And this person treated him so well.

Truly breaking all the rules.

Ye Shu lowered his eyes and said quietly: "Keep being like this, and even if I'm not the original host, I would——"

"Hiss…" Ye Shu suddenly drew a sharp breath.

The little one had kicked inside his belly.

Having been stirred up all evening, the little one had finally run out of patience and was throwing a tantrum.

Ye Shu frowned and pressed a hand to his belly, weathering the discomfort. He said irritably: "Little wretch — don't think I won't disown you."

"…"

Perhaps disturbed out of sleep, Jin Wang pulled Ye Shu close. His hand naturally settled on the small belly and rubbed it gently. Soothed by his father's touch, the little one gradually quieted and stopped making a fuss.

"Go to sleep." Jin Wang hadn't opened his eyes. His voice was very quiet. "Enough of that."

Whether that gentle reprimand was directed at Ye Shu or the little one was unclear — but Ye Shu found it rather effective regardless.

He pressed his forehead into Jin Wang's chest. The restless churning in his heart suddenly quieted.

Ye Shu closed his eyes and let consciousness slip away into sleep.

Over the following days, both of them tacitly avoided bringing the matter up again.

After New Year's Eve came three rest days.

On the last of the rest days, Ye Shu said he wanted to leave the palace.

"To the Ye estate?" When this came up, the two of them were having lunch. Jin Wang's eyes moved slightly. "What made you think of going there?"

Ye Shu said: "I just… want to go look at the place I used to live in. Maybe there'll be some kind of clue."

Jin Wang was unsurprised.

In truth, ever since Ye Shu had been honest with him, he had expected this person to have this kind of thought.

Without the memories of that period, it would be difficult to convince himself to accept the connection to the original host.

He wanted to return to a familiar place and find some kind of corroboration.

Jin Wang thought for a moment, with some hesitation.

Ye Shu grew tense. "Is that not allowed?"

"It's not that it isn't allowed — it's just that…" Jin Wang let out a sigh and shook his head. "Never mind. If you want to go, I'll come with you."

The two of them changed into ordinary civilian clothing, took a carriage out of the palace, and arrived at the back gate of the Ye estate before long.

Jin Wang reached out and tore off the paper seal on the gate, then pushed. The wooden door, long unopened, swung inward with a creak, raising a cloud of dust.

When the dust settled, Ye Shu got a clear look at the interior.

The last time they had come here, they had only been in the narrow alley outside the back gate. They hadn't entered the estate itself.

Ye Shu had had no idea what the estate looked like inside now.

Until today.

There was no trace left of the Ye estate's former grandeur. In the courtyards, the flower beds had been entirely excavated. Even the lotus pond had been drained dry, its bottom dusted with snow that hadn't yet fully melted — a bleakly desolate sight.

Every room in the estate had its doors thrown open. One look inside told the story: empty, with nothing at all.

Ye Shu: "…"

Jin Wang gave a small cough and said: "This place was searched three times by the imperial guards — there shouldn't be… much left."

"I can… see that." Ye Shu's voice was tight.

Jin Wang's imperial guards were… quite efficient, it seemed.

There probably wasn't a single copper coin left in this place.

Jin Wang said: "The things that were confiscated are still being held at the Court of Judicial Review. If you want to look at them, I can take you."

Ye Shu shook his head. "No need."

Those items had certainly already been gone through many times by Jin Wang. If there had been any clues, he would have found them long ago.

Ye Shu said: "Let's just have a look around."

The Ye estate wasn't large to begin with, and now that it had been stripped bare, the two of them went through the whole estate in short order.

…And found nothing.

An hour later, Ye Shu sat by the dried-up lotus pond and gazed at the desolate courtyard in the distance.

In truth, finding clues here had been secondary. He had just thought — if he and the original host truly had some connection, coming back here should feel like something. Some recognition.

Even just a flicker of déjà vu.

That was how these things were written.

But the reality was — nothing.

…He'd been deceived by fiction.

Ye Shu draped himself over the railing beside the lotus pond and let out a heavy sigh.

"If you can't remember, take your time. There's no rush." Jin Wang came up from behind and wrapped his arms around him. "I'll have someone send a batch of your things back to Yangxin Hall — take it slowly, and eventually some clue will turn up."

Ye Shu turned his head and found himself looking straight at the other man's handsome profile.

The afternoon sun had made a rare appearance. It was warm and gentle, spreading from his limbs all the way to his chest.

Ye Shu stared for a moment, then looked away. "How can you trust me this much? Aren't you afraid I'm putting on an act — that this whole thing was just to get back the things that were confiscated from me? There were quite a few sensitive documents in there."

"If you want them, just ask me. You don't need to go to all this trouble." Jin Wang said. "I said I would trust you. If I don't even have this much faith, how would you ever feel at ease staying with me?"

Ye Shu was at a loss for words.

The weather after snow was always calming. A light breeze passed through the bare courtyard, moving over the scraggly weeds and remnant snow. The hair of both of them drifted and mingled in the wind.

Ye Shu looked at Jin Wang's profile for a long moment, and then lowered his eyes. He said as though in a sigh: "You can't keep being like this…"

Jin Wang: "What?"

"Being like this will make me…"

Will make him stop thinking about the original host. Will make him want to act purely on his own behalf.

Ye Shu shook his head and pulled free of Jin Wang's arms. "Never mind. Let's go — there's nothing more to see here."

Jin Wang asked: "You don't want to look further?"

"No need. Let's go back and look at the confiscated items." He straightened his collar and walked forward. "I don't know what the original host was thinking — after living here for three years, there was nothing left behind at all, yet the evidence of foreign conspiracy was all right there waiting to be found——"

He stopped mid-sentence.

Wait.

This courtyard was one that Jin Wang had had built after the original host became Chancellor, and given to him.

The original host had only lived here for three years.

And those three years were exactly the period when the original host had started behaving strangely.

If things really were as Jin Wang had guessed — that the original host's consciousness had not been in his own control during those three years — then the person who had been living here had not really been the original host at all.

This wasn't the place he should be looking.