Chapter 44

Despite carrying the little one for this long, this was the first time Ye Shu had genuinely felt the child's presence.

He placed his palm on his lower belly and held his breath without realizing it.

As though sensing the motion from outside, the little one inside moved again. It was a very faint sensation — like the paw of a small kitten, scratching gently through the belly against Ye Shu's palm. Not uncomfortable at all — just unexpectedly astonishing.

Ye Shu's voice trembled with shock. "He he he — he really moved!"

Jin Wang was equally astonished.

Ye Shu was close to four months along now, and had begun to show a little. It was just that winter clothing was thick and made it hard to see, but in lighter summer clothes, one would easily have been able to see the small, soft curve that had appeared where a flat belly had once been.

Jin Wang reached out and settled his hand there, his touch extraordinarily light — as though afraid of disturbing something.

Yet there was no movement.

Ye Shu frowned. "Move a little — you were just moving, weren't you?"

Still nothing.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment. Then Ye Shu looked up at Jin Wang with complete seriousness. "He's afraid of you."

"…" Jin Wang was caught between laughter and frustration. "Am I really that frightening?"

Ye Shu nodded. "Yes."

Jin Wang: "…"

"Never mind." Jin Wang said. "Go to sleep — it's very late."

Ye Shu was still not satisfied.

But no matter how much he coaxed, or even tried to threaten, or thought about getting up to take a few steps around the room — there was no further movement from inside. Ye Shu eventually exhausted himself with all the effort and had to give up for the night.

Jin Wang held Ye Shu as they lay down. Before long, Ye Shu went quiet.

Perhaps because something was weighing on his mind, Ye Shu slept poorly that night — brow furrowed, turning over in Jin Wang's arms from time to time. Jin Wang was worried he would roll onto his belly, and pressed a hand to his waist to keep him in place.

Ye Shu settled against Jin Wang's chest, and gradually stopped moving under the gentle pressure.

Jin Wang's hand naturally came to rest on Ye Shu's abdomen.

Ye Shu was naturally slender, and even now, beginning to show, it wasn't pronounced. Jin Wang pressed his palm flat against the small belly and stroked it gently.

Then, beneath his palm, a faint and subtle stirring came through the skin.

Jin Wang opened his eyes in amazement.

It was a sensation that was impossible to put into words. Clearly and unmistakably, he felt beneath his palm a small, living presence — growing, slowly, steadily.

And this tiny life was his and Ye Shu's flesh and blood.

Jin Wang couldn't help but stroke the small rounded belly again. The little one inside seemed to have fully woken up now, and was moving about within Ye Shu quite energetically, extremely restless.

"Mm…" Ye Shu seemed disturbed by it and let out a faint, furrowed-brow sound.

Jin Wang said in a quiet, low warning: "Stop moving. Go to sleep."

As though Jin Wang's authority had taken effect, the stirring beneath his palm very quickly settled.

…Am I really that frightening?

Jin Wang reflected on this inwardly.

At that moment Ye Shu turned over again, burrowing into Jin Wang's arms, and rubbed his head against the crook of his arm. "Don't bother me…"

"Mm — I won't." Jin Wang stroked his hair. "Go to sleep."

The night passed without dreams.

When Ye Shu woke the next morning, Jin Wang was indeed no longer in the hall.

A court maid came in with washing water. Ye Shu couldn't help asking: "Last night… did you notice anything unusual?"

The maid was in the middle of rolling up the bed curtains. She paused with a puzzled expression. "This servant was keeping watch outside the hall all night and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. What is Young Master referring to?"

"…Nothing."

Jin Wang had apparently done exactly as he said and left before dawn.

Ye Shu sighed. An unexplainable feeling stirred in him.

The court maids opened the window that Jin Wang had opened and then closed the night before. Outside in the courtyard, several young eunuchs were carrying red silk lanterns, busy coming and going.

The year was drawing to an end, and attendants had already begun decorating the palace.

Everyone seemed to have become suddenly busy overnight. The deep palace, so usually cold and quiet, took on a little of the atmosphere of a coming new year.

Ten days passed in the blink of an eye. On New Year's Eve, His Majesty the sovereign held a banquet at Fangxuan Tower to host all the court officials.

When Ye Shu arrived outside Fangxuan Tower, the officials had not all assembled yet.

There was a flow of people outside the tower. Ye Shu was helped down from the imperial palanquin by an attendant, and looked up to find a figure standing outside the hall.

It was Xiao Huan.

Xiao Huan came forward with a smile and bowed. "Greetings, consort."

Ye Shu returned the bow.

In the few days since they had last seen each other, the young man looked worse than before — which suggested this dog emperor had not gone easy on him just because the New Year was approaching.

Xiao Huan sighed inwardly and directed a sympathetic look at Ye Shu.

No one nearby was paying them any attention. Xiao Huan stepped forward and said quietly: "Have you thought it over these past few days? Don't forget our arrangement."

Ye Shu hadn't forgotten.

Not only hadn't forgotten — because of this very thing, he had spent every day and night turning it over in his mind and hadn't slept well once.

He hadn't even had the chance to respond when Jin Wang's voice came from behind him. "What are you two discussing?"

Ye Shu was so startled he shuddered. He spun around. "Your— Your Majesty…"

Jin Wang wrapped an arm around him naturally. "The banquet is about to begin. Come up with Us."

"Yes…"

Jin Wang didn't spare Xiao Huan, who was still standing to one side, a single glance. He took Ye Shu with him and walked straight toward Fangxuan Tower.

Xiao Huan's expression showed dissatisfaction, but he didn't dare say anything. He gave a cold huff, turned, and went toward the side entrance through which the officials entered the hall.

Fangxuan Tower was the tallest building in the imperial city. Jin Wang pulled Ye Shu up to the top level, and they leaned on the railing to look out over the entire palace covered in ice and snow.

It was just at dusk. The sky was beginning to darken, and the red lanterns hung throughout the palace had already been lit. Bright decorations were everywhere to be seen.

Yet Ye Shu had no mind for the scenery.

He carefully studied the person beside him, feeling inexplicably guilty.

He wasn't sure whether Jin Wang had heard any of what Xiao Huan had just said.

Jin Wang's expression seemed perfectly normal — but this man had always kept his feelings carefully concealed, and that alone was no reassurance.

Sure enough, Jin Wang said idly: "What was Xiao Huan saying to you just now?"

Ye Shu looked abruptly away. "N— nothing."

Jin Wang said nothing. He simply watched him in silence.

His expression was calm, but something in his gaze seemed to conceal something very deep, and it sent a chill down Ye Shu's spine just from the looking.

A moment later, Jin Wang looked away without any sign of feeling. "Let's go in."

Night fell. Music and laughter filled the hall.

The officials filled their cups and feasted merrily.

Jin Wang showed no unusual behavior tonight. As always, he was attentive to Ye Shu — but he was drinking considerably more than usual. Before long, a considerable pile of wine jars had accumulated at his feet.

After hearing Jin Wang tell the attendant to bring more wine for what felt like the hundredth time, Ye Shu finally couldn't help saying: "No more drinking."

Jin Wang's hand paused. Even the young eunuch serving them was momentarily stunned.

No one had ever dared say "no" to His Majesty before.

Ye Shu lowered his eyes and said quietly: "The hai hour is almost here. The banquet should end."

After New Year's Eve came the new year, and banquets usually ended early to allow officials to go home and celebrate with their families.

Jin Wang's eyes had lost their usual sharpness. He was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "You're right."

The hall gradually emptied as officials filed out. By the time they were done, only Jin Wang and Ye Shu remained in the high tower.

Jin Wang pushed against the table to stand up. His figure swayed, and he sank back down.

Ye Shu quickly steadied him.

"I told you you'd drunk too much…" Ye Shu said under his breath.

Jin Wang was considerably taller than Ye Shu, and supporting him was an effort. There was no way Ye Shu could actually pull him up.

Before Ye Shu had decided whether to try harder or simply call the attendants to carry him, Jin Wang suddenly pointed toward the horizon. "Look over there."

In the far distance, a burst of fireworks exploded in the sky.

Fangxuan Tower's vantage was wide and unobstructed. Ye Shu looked up, and brilliant cascades of fireworks bloomed in the sky above, so close they seemed almost touchable.

The heavy darkness was lit up as bright as day for a moment. In the noise and light, Jin Wang turned his head. His fingertip brushed gently across Ye Shu's cheek.

The touch was light. Ye Shu didn't notice it.

Equally unnoticed was the brief, dark shadow that passed through Jin Wang's eyes and was gone in an instant.

The fireworks faded.

Ye Shu was about to speak when his shoulder grew heavy.

Jin Wang had leaned his head against it.

Ye Shu turned to look. Jin Wang's eyes were half-closed. He appeared to have fallen asleep.

…Fallen asleep?

"Your Majesty?" Ye Shu called quietly. "…Jin Wang?"

No response.

He really had drunk too much.

Ye Shu pressed his fingers to his brow in exasperation and called the attendants in to help the man up.

Several attendants struggled to support Jin Wang down the stairs. The imperial palanquin was already waiting outside the hall. Jin Wang seemed truly very badly drunk — even being helped into the palanquin didn't make him open his eyes. He looked somewhat unwell.

Once the attendants had settled Jin Wang in, they turned to help Ye Shu in as well. But Ye Shu shook his head.

"No need for me. Take His Majesty back first." Ye Shu said.

The attendant's expression was hesitant. "But Young Master…"

Ye Shu cut them off. "Yongshou Palace isn't far from here. I'd like to take a walk. I'll be back shortly."

The attendant seemed about to say more. Ye Shu gave a cold huff. "What — does my word not count?"

"…This servant would not dare."

Ye Shu turned to leave, then thought of something and turned back. "Remember to brew a pot of hangover soup. Have His Majesty drink it before he sleeps."

The attendant: "Yes."

He cast one final look at the palanquin. The curtains had been lowered by the attendants, and in the glow of the lanterns lining the road, the dim outline of the figure inside was faintly visible.

Ye Shu quietly exhaled and turned into the night.

Jin Wang being drunk tonight made things considerably easier for Ye Shu.

New Year's Eve made the palace livelier than usual. Attendants moved in twos and threes, admiring the lanterns together, setting off small fireworks. The cold, quiet palace had taken on a little of the warmth of celebration.

Thanks to Jin Wang's recent leniency and favor toward him, Ye Shu's path was entirely unobstructed. When he reached Chongde Gate, there was still a good amount of time before the hour he had agreed on with Xiao Huan.

Yet someone was already waiting there.

Xiao Huan, dressed in black, stepped out from behind a tree. The moment he saw Ye Shu, his eyes brightened slightly.

"I knew you'd come," Xiao Huan said. "Everything's ready. We can leave as soon as——"

"Young Master Xiao." Ye Shu said quietly. "I came to tell you — I'm not leaving with you."

Xiao Huan froze.

Ye Shu said earnestly: "Your kind intentions — I appreciate them deeply. But I can't let you be implicated on my account."

"You don't need to worry about that." Xiao Huan said. "Didn't I tell you? Even if we were discovered, that dog emperor wouldn't dare…"

"That's the first reason." Ye Shu cut him off. "The second is that between His Majesty and me, there are still things left unfinished. I can't leave him right now."

"What do you mean, unfinished things?" Xiao Huan's brow creased. Then understanding seemed to dawn on him. "You're not — you haven't actually developed feelings for Jin Wang, have you? You know perfectly well that the way he treats you isn't genuine — he's just using you as a——"

He stopped himself before finishing the sentence.

Above them, fireworks continued bursting across the sky one after another, scattering into glittering points of light as they fell. Breathtaking.

The two of them stood beneath the fireworks. After a moment, Xiao Huan said softly: "Sometimes talking to you, I almost think Elder Brother Ye Shu has come back."

"I met Elder Brother Ye Shu five years ago. Even back then I told him — the capital was full of danger, and he should come away with me. But he simply wouldn't."

"He said there were things here he still had to do, and people he couldn't let go of. The way he spoke — the look on his face — it was exactly the same as you just now."

"…Perhaps because you resemble him so much, I wanted to bring you away."

Xiao Huan gave a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. "These past few days I even started wondering — is it possible that you really are Elder Brother Ye Shu?"

Ye Shu fell into a strange silence.

The smile on Xiao Huan's face slowly faded.

But Ye Shu shook his head shortly after. "I'm not him."

"When you've been pretending to be someone for long enough, sometimes even I start to wonder." Ye Shu's eyes dropped. His voice was quiet. "But what is false is false. I'm not him. I know that clearly."

At those words, something in Xiao Huan's expression eased.

"Perhaps it's better that you're not him." Xiao Huan turned his head away. Most of his face was hidden in shadow, expression unreadable, but his voice had taken on a hoarse quality. "I never want to see Elder Brother Ye Shu with that dog emperor. He doesn't deserve him."

Ye Shu opened his mouth but didn't know how to respond.

"So be it." Xiao Huan said. "If you don't want to go, I won't push you."

He paused for a moment, then added with great gravity: "But you should think carefully. After tonight, there won't be another opportunity like this. That dog emperor is unhinged — he won't let you go. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgment."

"…" Ye Shu smiled despite himself, and said with full sincerity: "I won't regret not leaving."

"Alright…" Xiao Huan didn't look entirely satisfied, but he said nothing more. "Then I'll head back now. I slipped out while my father wasn't watching — if I don't go back he'll find me."

He raised his hands to Ye Shu in a parting bow. "Take care of yourself."

Ye Shu: "Take care."

Xiao Huan's figure quickly disappeared into the night. Ye Shu turned, about to retrace his steps back — and saw a figure stepping out from around the corner of a palace wall not far away.

It was Jin Wang.

He was still dressed in what he had been wearing before. But his eyes were clear — not the slightest hint of drunkenness in them. He looked at Ye Shu from a distance, the corner of his mouth curving into the particular half-smile that Ye Shu knew very well.

Ye Shu: "…"

Was it too late to regret his choices now?