CH-097

97 I'm Not Angry

Leslie was angry.

He was very angry.

He was usually emotionally indifferent, not good at expressing himself, and never let his feelings show on his face.

Yet, Shu Yue just knew he was angry.

*

After Shu Yue dismissed Veronica, Leslie wouldn't even look at him. He turned his head and complained to Finnian, saying, "Bishop Aris knows Veronica brought poison to kill him, yet he still forgave her and even sent her back to the classroom."

When Finnian first entered the auditorium, the first thing he saw was Shu Yue stepping back while Leslie quickly pushed the girl away. He instinctively assumed Veronica had a weapon and was trying to assassinate Shu Yue. Only later did he understand that she had merely wanted to hug Shu Yue.

He hadn't sensed that anything major had occurred.

Now, hearing Leslie's words, Finnian immediately exploded on the spot, pointing at Shu Yue and loudly criticizing him.

"Are you an idiot?"

"How can you keep such a dangerous person around?"

"Since she admitted it, just send her away. At worst, we just won't pursue the matter. How can you let her continue staying at the school?"

"Are you trying to anger me to death?!"

Seeing Finnian so furious he was about to jump up and down on the spot, Shu Yue, while sincerely accepting the scolding, hurriedly tried to soothe the agitated Finnian. One moment he was saying things like "a fault confessed is half redressed" and "there is no greater good than correcting one's errors"; the next moment he was saying that she was still young and deserved another chance; then he added that he could also see Veronica would surely face even greater punishment when she returned after failing her mission.

Finnian didn't care for any of this rambling nonsense; he just thought it was all empty talk.

"How can she not be punished for doing wrong?"

"Is it enough just because you forgive her?"

"I just can't stand seeing you like this. Back when Herens abandoned you to go live the good life with Father Corney, you weren't angry either. He came around year after year, and you still treated him like a friend. Now someone close to you wants to harm you, harm the entire diocese, and you're still not angry. Think about it—these people are only on good terms with you on the surface now. When serious trouble comes, they'll definitely only care about themselves and absolutely won't look out for you."

"What's the use of being so good to them? You have to scold them, make their consciences ache!"

Fortunately, he had privately dealt with a batch of people himself; otherwise, with Shu Yue's approach of always letting people off easy, Finnian would certainly feel extremely frustrated.

Seeing that Shu Yue still treated him like a child, thinking a bit of coaxing would end the matter, Finnian pursed his lips and his expression began to feign hurt.

He pushed away Shu Yue's hand that was patting his back soothingly, sat down on a chair, and looked on the verge of tears. "You don't listen to a word we say. You think our concern for you is just meddling in your affairs, don't you?"

"No, no." Shu Yue immediately tried to reassure Finnian. "I have never thought that."

Finnian said, "Then you have to listen to me."

Leslie coldly corrected, "To us."

Finnian forcefully suppressed the urge to snap at Leslie for disrupting his rhythm.

Seeing Shu Yue about to turn his head to look at Leslie's expression, he grabbed Shu Yue and continued in a tone that was both stubborn and fragile, "Do you know how much we care about you?"

Shu Yue sighed inwardly. "I understand your thoughts. But please, hear my thoughts as well, alright?"

Finnian, seeing Shu Yue so gentle and sincere, didn't speak, but his heart had already softened.

Ah, why make Shu Yue unhappy?

Let him do whatever he wants.

As for those damned pests, he could just deal with them privately.

Shu Yue explained, "I have always believed that people are selfish and have weaknesses. Many times, it's because their hearts lack firmness that they cannot walk a more righteous path. And one can never achieve one's own goals simply by punishing others."

"Leslie said that if she truly didn't want to do it, she wouldn't have called me a hypocrite, trying to place herself on a moral high ground to ease her conscience. He also said that if she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't have hesitated in her words."

"But don't forget, the orders Veronica received came from her closest, most authoritative elders. Saying 'no' would essentially mean rebelling against her father."

Shu Yue half-crouched down, looked up at Finnian sitting on the chair, and spoke methodically, "And if she dared to rebel, she wouldn't have repeatedly complied with her father's words. She knows her father made her do wrong, but the more wrongs she commits, the more it snowballs, growing larger and larger, and the less she dares to stop. In that situation, she must feel that the diocese has already abandoned her, that she cannot be forgiven. If she were to betray her father as well, she would have nothing left."

"However, even knowing all this, even knowing she had long been out of favor with the diocese, she was still unwilling to act, dragging things out until her spirit began to collapse, even becoming disturbed. Isn't this a good example of repentance?"

Finnian's face felt warm. He stammered, searching for his words, and said, "But, what if she hasn't acted yet, but in the future, if she's pushed..."

What was he going to say again?

It seemed to be that Shu Yue should listen to their decisions from now on...?

Shu Yue then patted Finnian's shoulder, saying, "I'm keeping her because I feel I can correct her actions now. If I felt I could do nothing, I wouldn't keep her."

He could say honestly, "I won't waste time on things I cannot accomplish."

"I let Herens go to the capital city because I knew his heart was with Corney. He felt guilty toward Corney. Keeping him was useless; it was better to grant him his wish. Talents are everywhere; one less makes no difference."

Shu Yue said, "You should trust how I handle Veronica, right?"

What else could Finnian say? Hearing such gentle, soft words, his anger was soothed. "Fine! Then we'll observe a while longer."

"Thank you, Finnian."

Shu Yue patted the back of Finnian's hand, then looked toward Leslie, who had been standing silently to the side.

He had said these words not only for Finnian to hear, but also for Leslie.

"And thank you for your concern, Leslie."

Leslie, however, did not look at Shu Yue, nor did he indicate whether he had taken the words to heart or not.

However, two days later, Bishop Hugo made a special trip from the Carson Diocese to discuss this matter, which gave Shu Yue a fright.

This was definitely Leslie's doing.

Bishop Hugo was not as easy to talk to as Finnian. Shu Yue had to prepare a detailed action plan, proving that his decision to keep Veronica was based on sound reasoning and that the advantages outweighed the disadvantages.

After listening, Bishop Hugo fell into thought and said, "If you truly intend to win over an Aldrich completely, you should consider keeping her as a sworn knight. Don't you happen to be without a knight? Veronica is fifteen now. You could extend an invitation to her."

In Bishop Hugo's description, Shu Yue pictured the little fox-like Naxi holding a slender longsword, riding a tall horse, becoming his sworn knight.

"Aris, listen. Actually, this is a very good opportunity right now." Bishop Hugo thought about it more and felt it was an excellent chance. "Aris, you are now a target of public criticism and need someone to protect you. If you have a trustworthy knight, and an 'Aldrich' at that, even in the capital of the Holy City, ordinary cardinals would have to show you some deference."

Shu Yue: "..."

In the original work, the Aldrich family wasn't particularly powerful, just a somewhat influential noble house. Otherwise, Shu Yue wouldn't have been completely oblivious to the significance of the surname.

Hugo noticed Shu Yue's silence and asked, "Do you have some doubts about the Aldrich family?"

Shu Yue couldn't help but say, "I had never heard of the Aldrich family before."

This statement made Hugo raise an eyebrow involuntarily. He had always assumed Shu Yue treated Veronica neither humbly nor arrogantly because of his own principles and attitude, and because he was learned and knowledgeable. Hugo had never imagined Shu Yue was actually unfamiliar with the Aldrich name. "On the cover of the seminary's elementary textbook, isn't there an illustration of clergy practicing asceticism in a cave and receiving a response from the Lord?"

Shu Yue had an impression of this and nodded.

"The figure depicted is the ancestor of the Aldrich family."

Shu Yue instantly understood why the people of the Sermon Duchy held Veronica in such reverence and closeness. It was as unbelievable as saying 'my ancestor is a mythological figure.' Yet, in the original timeline, the Aldrich family merely served as an introduction to the conflict between Leslie and Nero.

In just three short years, had the Aldrich family's image already been shattered in people's minds?

Bishop Hugo carefully observed Shu Yue's expression, afraid of missing any flicker of emotion, and said, "Aris, why wouldn't you know about the Aldrich family? Moreover, didn't you come from the capital?"

"..."

Ever since Shu Yue arrived in this world, few people had voluntarily discussed his past with him.

Although it was likely due to identity or position, at least none of the clergy Shu Yue knew had ever asked him about his previous life in the capital.

There was a time when Shu Yue had even prepared some lines specifically for this topic, but he never got the chance to use them.

He never expected that, four years later, the name Aldrich would bring up questions about his past.

Shu Yue replied, "I don't know why I don't know. Actually, I don't have many distinct memories of the capital at all."

Experience had taught Shu Yue that he didn't need to spell everything out perfectly; most people could draw their own reasonable conclusions.

"When did you realize you had forgotten things about the capital?" Bishop Hugo was very interested in this matter; it could very well explain why Shu Yue's behavior in the capital had been so drastically different.

Shu Yue said, "Four years ago, when I first arrived at the Savoy Diocese."

Bishop Hugo, seeing how calm he was, smiled slightly. "You aren't worried at all?"

"I figured that if someone truly cared about my existence and I never responded, that person in the capital would naturally come looking for me. Then I would seek out those memories." Shu Yue said flatly. "If no one has come looking in four years, then there's really no need for me to retrieve those memories. After all, they could be painful and distressing recollections."

Bishop Hugo nodded, and after a long while said, "Actually, not making contact doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about you."

Shu Yue responded, "Are you saying that for my sake, or are you speaking from personal feelings regarding Leslie's situation?"

Ever since the steward selection for bishop four years ago, Cardinal Otto from the capital had frequently sent letters and gifts to Leslie, maintaining contact. However, Leslie had already passed the age where he desperately needed familial affection. Receiving concern at this point didn't hold the same anticipation for Leslie as one might imagine.

Bishop Hugo chuckled. "A bit of both. But I trust your judgment, so you might prefer to discuss the latter."

"Aris, there's something I'd like to discuss with you." Bishop Hugo said. "Originally, I, as the headmaster, was to lead the team for the debate competition. But I was thinking, perhaps you could lead the children to the south for the competition. I think the children would be thrilled to see you accompanying them."

This assignment came unexpectedly.

Shu Yue had once looked forward to seeing the capital, but Veronica's account had just dashed those expectations. Now he wasn't keen on the arduous journey from the North all the way to the southern capital. "But I don't know what the situation in the capital is like."

It was said the carriage journey alone would take over two and a half months.

That time would be the height of summer, when the vegetables and fruits in the fields were at their most abundant.

By then, the newly cultivated improved watermelon varieties could be chilled in the river. Everyone could barbecue at night, eat watermelon, and gaze at the stars and moon. The school teachers were multi-talented, and together with the church clergy, they could occasionally hold small concerts, play some variety show-style games. Every day should be quite enjoyable.

Shu Yue felt that spending the holiday comfortably at home would be much better.

Bishop Hugo continued, "I can sense that Leslie likes you very much. If you could also attend Leslie's coming-of-age ceremony, he would certainly feel reassured in that unfamiliar environment."

Hearing this, Shu Yue hesitated. "...Are you perhaps too busy to go?"

Bishop Hugo was silent for a moment, carefully studying Shu Yue's expression.

This made Shu Yue somewhat puzzled, unsure what he was looking at. "What's the matter?"

Bishop Hugo said, "I feel that if Leslie knew you weren't particularly eager to attend his coming-of-age ceremony, he would be very sad."

Shu Yue didn't take Bishop Hugo's joking remark to heart. He was more inclined to think Bishop Hugo had other matters he couldn't discuss openly and was using Leslie as a pretext. "Is Bishop Hugo feeling unwell somewhere? Such a long journey, going back and forth, is indeed not easy. If you are unwell, I am willing to go in your stead."

Upon hearing this, Bishop Hugo laughed, leaving Shu Yue even more confused.

The elderly man said, "You've watched Leslie grow up. You should know that while he usually seems steady, sometimes he's still a child who hasn't grown up. He has a temper but doesn't know how to express it. Otherwise, he wouldn't have specifically written to ask me to have a proper talk with you. He probably hasn't spoken to you recently, has he?"

"...Yes."

Because Leslie's presence was usually quite subdued and he rarely initiated conversation—only saying a few words when Finnian was around—Shu Yue hadn't paid close attention to Leslie's state.

"Tell him you will attend his coming-of-age ceremony. He'll be fine again soon. Otherwise, he'll probably sulk for a long time."

But wouldn't it be better if this invitation came from the person himself?

What if he didn't want him to come?

Regardless, Shu Yue responded to Bishop Hugo's words, "...I understand."

He would go and talk to Leslie alone later.

*

Savoy Diocese.

The horse grounds.

Leslie rode alone through the forest path, his expression indifferent, yet the reins in his hands were pulled taut.

The horse, constrained, grew somewhat restless, occasionally stamping its front hooves, neighing, and tossing its head, reminding Leslie.

Leslie loosened the reins then, but his mind was full of chaotic thoughts.

He wouldn't be like Finnian, who would drop the matter of Veronica just because Bishop Aris coaxed him with a few gentle words.

Even if Veronica, now that her intentions had been exposed, wouldn't dare act rashly for the time being—whether sincere or pretending.

But the case of Dr. Matthew was also a hidden danger for the Northern Territory.

Bishop Aris was clearly so intelligent; why keep this person around? Even if Veronica faced punishment for failing her mission, that was her own affair. What did it have to do with Bishop Aris? She was supposed to bear the consequences of her own actions.

It wasn't that Leslie couldn't voice these thoughts.

Nor was he incapable of expressing himself.

If necessary, he always spoke his mind when it was called for.

But he simply didn't dare say these things directly to Bishop Aris. He feared being seen as overly calculating, narrow-minded, and harsh. What if he was disliked? What would he do then?

When would he be able to act as freely as Finnian, without worrying that Bishop Aris would despise him?

This time, Bishop Hugo was going to talk with Bishop Aris. Knowing Bishop Aris's intelligence, he would surely guess that he was still stubbornly fixated on this matter...

"..."

Had he gone too far?

Would Bishop Aris find him annoying...

Just as he reined in his horse on the slope, intending to turn back, familiar footsteps sounded from behind.

"Leslie."

The voice was gentle, yet impossible to ignore.

Leslie's arm stiffened instantly. He didn't turn around, nor did he make a sound.

And his stubbornness resurfaced—he had to make Bishop Aris understand that not everyone could be forgiven.

But then, the young man behind him called out again, "Leslie, what a coincidence!"

The wind passed through the woods. Leslie didn't want to keep Bishop Aris waiting, so he turned his head.

He saw Aris in his white vestments, standing in the forest. Dappled sunlight fell upon him, the hem of his robe glowing with a soft, pale gold. His neck was damp with sweat, his collar clinging to his skin, the thin fabric faintly revealing the color of flesh beneath.

Leslie's gaze lingered for a moment. He said nothing, merely glanced into the young man's eyes before seeing Aris flash him a crescent-moon smile. "How lucky to run into you here! Could you give me a ride back? Walking back on two legs is too tiring."

Leslie was silent for a few seconds, but ultimately turned his horse around and slowly approached him.

The horse stopped before the young man. Aris raised his hand, reaching out his palm as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "You seem upset? What's wrong?"

Leslie didn't speak. He just leaned down, grabbed that hand, bent his arm, and pulled the other person up with a flex of his shoulder.

Aris settled behind him, his movements practiced and light.

The faint rustle of clothing came from behind, along with the warm sensation of the young man's palm resting on his waist. The dark clouds in the youth's heart unconsciously began to disperse slightly. The corner of his mouth twitched, but he suppressed it, maintaining his composure.

Under Leslie's guidance, the horse snorted softly and started back on the path home.

And as the wind swept past them, the shadows of the trees swayed, and mottled sunlight fell upon them intermittently.

After a long while, Leslie said in a low voice, "I'm not angry."

"Actually, I was looking for you about something."

Leslie's heart thumped. Unsure how he might be criticized, he didn't dare respond. "..."

But Aris's low voice sounded right by his ear: "I know you're concerned about Veronica. I won't let you down. You don't need to worry too much."

Leslie: "..."

"Leslie, I've always felt that since we've known each other for so long, if you have any thoughts or complaints, you can actually tell me directly."

Aris's tone was gentle and sincere. "Sometimes, even if we disagree, it's alright to argue occasionally. But after the argument, we'll definitely return to our original, close relationship, just like before, right?"

Hearing the words "close relationship," Leslie's Adam's apple moved slightly. His back remained straight, yet he felt as if surrounded by something soft and warm. That bit of fluttering feeling hidden deep in his heart became hard to suppress, and a hint of happiness quietly seeped out.

Aris hesitated for a moment, then asked earnestly, "Can you tell me the truth? Do you think I didn't handle this matter well enough?"

"No."

Leslie answered immediately, his tone resolute. "I believe no one, myself included, would have any objections to your decision."

Aris paused, then laughed despite himself, knowing that his saying this meant he was letting the matter go. He smiled.

"Aren't you being a bit too agreeable?"

"...?"

Was he?

Leslie didn't understand why Aris would say that.