CH-087

87 I'm listening to you.

Shu Li participates in the school assembly activities every week.
Especially the chapel services at the seminary.

Sometimes he is in charge; other times, if Bishop Hugo comes over from the Carson diocese, Bishop Hugo delivers the sermon or presides.

At other times, Shu Li just sits quietly to the side like a decorative vase, observing the students' conditions and states.

Occasionally, he might zone out for a moment, daydreaming along with them, even if only for ten-odd seconds. Yet, every time he glances toward the students below the stage, checking if anyone has noticed him doing something improper, he invariably catches dozens of pairs of eyes stealing glances at him, snapping him instantly awake.

Because that feeling of being singled out even though no one had said a word forces Shu Li to sit upright and proper, putting on the appearance of an exemplary bishop who is "listening with rapt attention."

Fortunately, there are always a few students whose remarks aren't so strictly conventional; occasionally, listening to them is as amusing as hearing a story.

Today was not the school's weekly chapel service day, but rather the termly student representative address for each college. The content was nothing more than reflections on studies, recent campus news and activities, and reminders about the surrounding environment.

For instance, this time there was a special reminder to pay attention to how the transfer students from the beginning of this term were adapting. Due to the frequent appearance of the Principality of Sermon in news pamphlets because of the Black Death, some transfer boarding students from there had also drawn attention. Some students reported instances of ostracism towards them in certain colleges, and there had even been a few conflicts.

In fact, recently, the Northern Territory had indeed seen an influx of refugees fleeing the Principality of Sermon, which had caused some incidents.

A few days ago, while discussing student matters, Father Leighton had mentioned these things to him.

At the time, Shu Li, concerned about the issue of increased transfer students, asked, "How is the situation with the recent transfer students from the Principality of Sermon?"

Leighton flipped through the documents in his hand and answered methodically, "Currently, twenty-four have newly enrolled. Most are adapting fairly normally, just a few frictions... I've already had people mediate."

Shu Li nodded and asked further, "Has anyone caused trouble?"

"Not exactly causing trouble, but some students have been saying behind their backs that they're calamities brought by the plague. Some of the talk has been quite unpleasant."
Leighton paused, then added, "Actually, the residents have always been sensitive to outsiders. There were disturbances in town a few weeks ago too; someone filed a complaint against a household for 'feigning accompanying study, actually illegally overstaying'."

In fact, for reasons of management and maintaining order, the Savoy diocese, centered primarily on the student and church communities, deliberately avoided the power struggles of the nobility. Consequently, its scrutiny of outsiders had always been strict.

Not only would it refuse settlement to people from other principalities, but even residents from other dioceses within the Northern Territory would be persuaded to leave if they relocated improperly.

Nevertheless, Shu Li understood that some people, unable to legally move into the Savoy diocese, would seek various pretexts to find work there, marry a local, or enroll their minor children in school, thereby gaining certain residency rights.

In civic management, the number of citizens from the Principality of Sermon gaining entry to the Savoy diocese under the guise of "accompanying study" for children admitted to grammar school had surged by dozens of households recently, causing disturbances in town.

Shu Li raised an eyebrow slightly. "So it seems 'accompanying study' has become a legitimate method for disguised entry?"

"Yes. Many people are relying on their children's admission to grammar schools to relocate."
Leighton lowered his voice. "The diocese's population scrutiny is already very strict. But as more refugees mix in among the faithful, loopholes are starting to appear."

"...Ah." Shu Li sighed softly. "The church's funds are nearly depleted too. In this financial state, having to support even more people... the pressure is considerable."

Indeed, another very important reason for the diocese's strict control over outsiders was that the current rapid development of the entire diocese relied heavily on substantial financial support.

Over the past four years, even with a significant increase in student numbers, it was still far from enough to cover the fiscal deficit.

All along, it had depended entirely on Bishop Hugo's behind-the-scenes operations and the support and protection of the Duke's military. Otherwise, the various welfare policies Shu Li had implemented for students and residents would have been unsustainable.

Therefore, controlling the outsider population was essential to avoid the economic drain and security risks caused by a population explosion.

Leighton nodded slightly. "In the end, Bishop, the welfare you've granted the students is simply too generous."
He paused. "Should we... cut back a little?"

"You want me to cut the food subsidies for impoverished students?" Shu Li glanced sideways at him.

Leighton immediately knew Shu Li wouldn't budge and smiled. "I was just asking casually."

During this hushed conversation, the atmosphere between the two actually lightened somewhat.

Yet both knew in their hearts that this.

Regardless, Shu Li felt it was necessary for him to understand what the situation was like.

If necessary, he would specifically look into the situation.

Moreover, more crucially, the person Lesley harbors good feelings for in the original work—Veronica Edric—also hails from the Principality of Sermon.

She has already enrolled, but given the current sensitive situation, she might be experiencing the painful loss of loved ones, or possibly facing friction due to her background.

"..."
Shu Li sighed and glanced again at Lesley, whose gaze remained calm.

Furthermore, Lesley still showed not the slightest extra attention towards her.

Shu Li also thought, perhaps now was the perfect time, while everyone was still in their carefree youthful days, for them to rekindle a connection. That would be ideal.

This was an excellent opportunity to play matchmaker! @Infinite Good Reads, All in Jinjiang Literature City

Various thoughts darted through Shu Li's mind, but in the end, he sighed inwardly: Better to let things take their natural course.

Past-life romantic entanglements weren't something he should interfere with anyway.

And at this stage, he was already busy enough.

He couldn't be bothered to create more trouble for himself.

*

After the three of them arrived at the great hall, they quickly parted ways.

Shu Li also needed to go to the backstage waiting room, preparing to go out front and listen to the student speeches once the event began.

However, before he could open the door to the waiting room, he heard a series of rapid yet steady footsteps approaching from behind.

Turning his head, he saw Lesley, having taken advantage of Finnian's distraction, doubling back on his own.

Lesley strongly disliked showing closeness to him in front of others; there was still an element of embarrassment involved.

At this moment, the youth's breathing was very even.

For him, such a short sprint seemed insufficient to affect his respiration.

Yet, standing before him, Shu Li could still see the youth's black hair slightly disheveled from the brief run, a few strands across his forehead gleaming under the daylight filtering through the window.

The youth looked as if he were standing beside a glass window brushed by the evening breeze, exuding a crisp, restrained coolness.

Shu Li suddenly recalled that it was often said Lesley inherited his mother's beauty—especially his complexion. It wasn't a sickly pallor, but rather a texture illuminated by sunlight, conveying a clean and clear feeling.

Coupled with his inherent, undeniable calmness and sharp edge, it was hard not to take a second look.

He had indeed grown into a handsome young man.

Before Shu Li's mind could wander too long, Lesley asked if he could borrow the church's prayer room tonight.

Lesley's voice wasn't loud, his tone as flat as ever, yet it carried an unspoken insistence.

His gaze was usually very indifferent, without much fluctuation.

But now, because Shu Li had been staring at him too long, he subconsciously met his eyes—in that instant, a flicker of light passed through his pupils, and then he looked down again.

He said nothing, merely lowering his head, letting Shu Li's gaze slowly settle on his face, allowing Shu Li to continue observing him.

He didn't think he harbored any special feelings towards Shu Li. Yet, whenever those eyes watched him for too long, a faint, inexplicable nervousness would stir in his heart, as if he'd been inadvertently seen through.

He instinctively wanted to avoid it, but also felt that—avoiding too often seemed like trying to hide something, which would only raise more suspicion.

Thus, he restrained himself.

Thus, he stood quietly, striving to maintain an unassailable facade.

Because he knew he didn't want Shu Li to think him awkward, nor did he want to be misunderstood as disliking Shu Li looking at him that way.

Shu Li, however, was unaware of the other's numerous considerations; he was merely inwardly puzzled why Lesley would suddenly want to use the church prayer room.

If it was just for prayer, the one at the school should suffice.

Could it be... he didn't want others to know he also prayed?

"No."
Shu Li's tone was gentle but brooked no argument.
"Recently, the church prayer rooms have been locked."

Although the church always had someone on night duty, Shu Li prohibited church staff from working overtime.

They had regulated rest periods daily, and their service time for church activities couldn't exceed eight hours. He wasn't sure if this strict prohibition had instead provoked a rebellious spirit among the church members, who often ended up working extra hours on their own.

Lately, Shu Li had simply locked the church doors, telling them to be devout at home if they wished, and forbidding them from receiving others, thus adding to their workload unnecessarily and preventing clerical overwork.

Hearing this reply, Lesley's long lashes lowered. "Never mind, then."

Shu Li felt a pang of sympathy and reminded him again, "They're still open before sunset."

"I know."
His voice was calm as usual, but a shade quieter.

Though clearly refused, Lesley didn't leave; he remained standing motionless.
It was less about not knowing what to say after the conversation ended, and more like Lesley was in a stalemate. Deep within Lesley's bones was an obstinacy unwilling to yield easily, which made him so hesitant and irresolute.

"Evenings really won't work." Shu Li sighed, but opened the door anyway, making way. "If the confession doesn't take too long, we can resolve it quickly here."

Lesley's expression, after being refused twice, softened for a moment before he accepted Shu Li's suggestion, saying, "Actually, I wanted to talk about something concerning someone I know."

"...?"
Something about someone he knows?
Finnian?
Brother Kelvin?
If they heard themselves referred to like that, they'd be so aggrieved they'd want to cry.

—Or was it himself?

Shu Li stepped aside. "Come in and tell me."

Lesley, always efficient, entered the room and immediately began, "He dreamed of you recently and felt... that he did something very offensive to you in the dream. It's been bothering him."

"..."

Upon hearing this, Shu Li almost instantly concluded—the so-called "he" was undoubtedly Lesley himself.

It wasn't that Lesley was heartless, but he was indeed rarely attuned enough to resonate sharply with others' feelings or be troubled by others' problems.

However, Shu Li truly couldn't imagine what Lesley had done in his dream to make him so uneasy.

Logically, this youth was always restrained and courteous, overly cautious, and could blame himself for half a day over the slightest perceived transgression.

He seemed untamed outwardly, but was actually exceedingly well-behaved.

Just as Shu Li was about to offer some comforting words, he suddenly recalled a passage from the original novel: the part where the male lead, Lesley, who intensely loathed the man who called him a "demon"—Alis—had repeatedly said he wished he could tear that man to pieces, even in his dreams.

The novel described it like this—

The dream was a boundless snowy plain, hosting a bloody manhunt.

A cold wind howled, the sky was dim.

Lesley rode his horse across the snow, his shadow stretched long by the snow's glare.

His hand gripped a longsword tightly as he pursued the priest fleeing through the snow—"Alis," the one who had called him a demon before everyone, the one who had utterly damned him.

"You should never have existed."

The priest's voice echoed in Lesley's ears.

And as he drew closer to the escaping figure, Alis's voice grew more piercing, more mocking and contemptuous.

"You are calamity, sin, an existence that blasphemes the Lord!"

Soon, Lesley was right behind the priest. His voice rang out, inexplicably speaking to the young man who was nearly breathless and utterly incapable of dialogue.

"Shut up—"
The voice was calm, but the words sent chills to the core.

Without hesitation, without pause, he drove the longsword straight through the man's chest.

The action was clean and precise, almost devoid of any emotional fluctuation.

Blood sprayed onto the snow, like crimson blades sprouting barbs.

The priest merely stared wide-eyed, as if in disbelief, a plea still lingering on his lips: "Don't..."

The wind ceased, yet snow drifted down slowly.

Lesley sat on his horse, rooted to the spot.

He gazed at the fallen figure, his fingers trembling slightly, yet his chest held no sense of relief.

There was only a profound weariness and emptiness—as if he had done something instinctual rather than rational, and also as if he had rehearsed it countless times in his heart.

He slowly lowered his eyes and murmured hoarsely, "If you'd just shut up, I might not have acted."

After these words fell, the youth imprisoned in the cell awoke from his vengeful dream.

His fingers still maintained the posture of gripping a blade from the dream.

Outside the window, the light was faint; reality was quiet as ever.

Yet reality chilled him to the heart.

How many times must he kill, before it becomes real?
Before he could tear this agony from his chest—!

Lesley's gaze was dark and heavy, as if containing the endless, continuous blizzards of the Northern Territory.

...

Shu Li was stunned by the novel plot he had just recalled.

Could it be... that Lesley dreamed the original plot point where 'he dreamed of killing Father Alis'?

It wasn't impossible.

After all, Lesley was one of the original characters, most deeply affected by the memories of the original world—even if the plot had already diverged significantly.

Could he... have dreamed of wanting to kill Shu Li?
And that was the source of this conflict and anxiety?

Shu Li quickly steered the topic towards mental stress, his tone steady. "Dreams are illusory; don't take them seriously. If even you feel the dream was wrong, it's probably because you know deep down it shouldn't happen."

"But... aren't dreams reflections of the subconscious?" Lesley asked softly, sounding hesitant.

"It could also just be exhaustion." Shu Li's demeanor grew gentler. "When people are tired or anxious, they have strange dreams."

But Lesley clearly wasn't fully convinced. He remained silent, making no sound.

Shu Li had to play his trump card, asking Lesley in return, "Do you not believe what I say?"

As expected, Lesley jolted visibly, his eyes panicked for a split second: "How could that be possible?"

He was indeed easy to persuade.

Shu Li smiled gently. "Don't let dreams trap your mind. As I said, if even you feel uncomfortable about that dream, then you already distinguish right from wrong. Isn't that so?"

"...Yes."

"Take your time thinking. There's no rush."

Lesley hesitated a moment, then said quietly, "I was just worried... that what happened in the dream would upset you."

This time, it was Shu Li's turn to be stunned.

He hadn't expected that a dream he had no part in could still make the other person worry about angering him.

"You take things too much to heart."
He couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Do you really think I'd be upset over something in a dream that I never even experienced?"

"..."

"Stop dwelling in the dream. It's just a dream. Even if it repeats once, twice, three times, by earnestly comparing it to reality, you'll always arrive at the correct answer."

"Repeats once, twice, three times...?"

Shu Li continued looking at Lesley. "Lesley, will you listen to me?"

Lesley looked up at him once, then quickly dropped his gaze. "...I'm listening to you."

Seeing the time was about right, Shu Li nodded: "Then go prepare quickly, alright? The student representative speeches are about to start."

"Yes."

Watching the youth's receding figure, Shu Li breathed a small sigh of relief while thinking to himself: Thankfully, over these four years, I've managed to build a good relationship with him.

They could talk openly about anything.

And Lesley was receptive to anything said.

See, in just a few words, his own life had been preserved.

Still, Shu Li was uncertain whether he should press Lesley about the details of his dream.

What if Lesley dreamed the entire original plot? What then?

After all, this concerned the secret of his birth mother.

Even the usually composed Lesley couldn't possibly dismiss such a dream as mere nighttime ramblings without any emotional reaction, could he?

Ah—
Was the story destined to follow the original path?
Should he pretend not to know?

But he feared that if he let it be, not taking it to heart, one day they'd end up where one dared not ask, and the other dared not answer.