CH-064

Chapter 64: After Working for So Long, He Started Paying Out of His Own Pocket to Go to Work

The interior of the church at night seemed especially vast, as if prayers themselves could hover in the air above.

Light rose from the floor, casting thick shadows on the stone walls and pews, like the rich strokes of an oil painting.

Light and shadow intertwined, as if each layer applied by an artist was endowing each lamp, each brick, each pillar with a quiet yet profound soul.

This reminded Shu Li of Bishop Holm's church stories, especially the tales of evil demons seducing poor priests, all happening in such ambiguous lighting—

Those demons, disguised as beautiful, fragile, lost maidens, widows, or abused wives, would toy with the priest under the cover of night. The story would often take a turn just before the priest was about to commit a grave sin. A demon hunter would conveniently expose the demon's crimes, saving the fragile novice priest.

The priests in these stories sounded very much like the scholars in Chinese ghost stories, lured by ghosts scaling the walls.

If Shu Li were to write such stories, standing on the shoulders of giants, he could write a hundred non-repetitive ones.

He could even think of stories where the priest seduces the demon, tricking them into love and affection. The ending would be a grand one where, by the time the priest becomes a great bishop, the demon finally has a chance for revenge. But the demon is purified by the angels beside the bishop, and after a desperate struggle, finally gets a "sorry" from the bishop. The demon finds peace, and they live happily ever after.

"..."

Shu Li frantically beat a wooden fish in his heart.

Finally, he began to ponder the similarities and differences between these two types of literature.

Unlike the scholars in the Chinese stories, who were mostly lured by loneliness and beauty, priests were more likely driven by a need for redemption.

But both were similar because they overly repressed their inner selves. The former were bound by Confucian rites, the latter by doctrine, making them prone to losing control.

"Some time ago," Bishop Holm began sharing real-life church stories with Shu Li, starting with a small tale. "About 45 years ago, to train new clergy and prevent them from being easily tempted by demons, the church would arrange some trials privately—such as tempting them with money, gambling, or even lust, to test whether they could hold their bottom line. This practice later caused strong backlash and controversy, so it was gradually abolished."

Because Holm's "friend" had also experienced something similar 45 years ago, or even earlier.

"So, if that friend knew that the church was essentially sting operations... I mean, had such arrangements, why would he still accept night prayers?" Shu Li raised a small doubt.

"..." Bishop Holm clenched his fist and said, "That's why I said people shouldn't be soft-hearted... His original resume was so perfect, his path to sainthood so bright and open, and now it's all ruined! How infuriating—!"

Although Bishop Holm didn't say it explicitly, Shu Li felt that perhaps it was because of the flaws in that past experience that he became particularly harsh, even overcorrecting, in later years to avoid losing his psychological balance.

Whenever he saw others make mistakes, it was like seeing his former self, and he couldn't help but feel displeasure and rejection.

He wasn't judging others; he was punishing himself.

Also, Shu Li felt that the other's conclusion seemed less like a calm judgment and more like an emotional, subjective outburst. Rather than rich experience, what he sensed from him was more of a deep-seated obsession—a lingering grudge about the past, an inability to let go of mistakes.

He wondered what Bishop Holm had actually experienced.

A flicker of doubt crossed Shu Li's mind.

Now, Shu Li felt like he was playing a game for the second time.

The first playthrough gave him a general understanding of the story's plot.

The second playthrough allowed him to see everyone's complete information.

What he could recall was—

In reality, the original novel didn't describe Bishop Holm much either. What existed came from Nero's memories and others' impressions of his stern, upright image. Before the main story began, Bishop Holm, like Bishop Hugo, had already passed away.

Why did he die? How did he die?

It was impossible to know.

These thoughts flashed by but pricked Shu Li's heart like a needle.

Regardless, Shu Li now stood at the pulpit, his gaze falling on the young boy.

Because this wasn't a confession, there was no need to go to the confessional.

Also, since Leslie wasn't a believer, there was no need to follow too many procedures.

Shu Li opened the Bible, softly recited a few verses, and began adjusting into the state of a professional priest. "Leslie, what help do you need?"

Leslie: "..."

Now he just waited for Leslie to speak, then used a somewhat oracular tone to provide Leslie with a feasible path.

In reality, resolving the family conflict was quite difficult, but gaining the other's attention and recognition wasn't hard. In this process, as long as he performed well and gained Claude's trust, it would basically solve the problem of parental love. After all, Duke Claude wasn't close to anyone.

Moreover, Leslie already had a foundation; even at a glance, one could see he was soft-hearted and kind, resilient, and the type who was easy to guide and would listen to advice.

Bishop Hugo would certainly be a good teacher, but the student himself was also good. So their success together was the result of both being indispensable.

But after a while, Leslie spoke softly, saying, "My stepmother... she abuses me."

Shu Li was surprised, unable to help but be stunned.

This was like preparing for final exams by doing many past papers, only to open the test paper and find that the question types had completely changed.

He wasn't familiar with Lady Adelaire!

In the original novel, Lady Adelaire's role wasn't substantial. She was described with more stereotypical words—magnificent, elegant, exuding a trained aristocratic quality, accustomed to using rules, transactions, and control to maintain family relationships, very concerned with family image.

When they met at the wedding, Shu Li hadn't paid particular attention to her either, only remembering that she valued pomp and circumstance and very much enjoyed being the center of attention.

But it wasn't necessarily vanity, but rather a strong need for others' attention—as if she would cease to exist if no one saw her.

Shu Li couldn't be sure; he hadn't paid much attention to her.

Since Leslie brought it up, Shu Li had to improvise, deal with whatever came.

Sigh, a father who didn't love him and a stepmother who didn't care about him.

Shu Li sighed inwardly.

"Can you tell me more about it?" Shu Li's tone was gentle.

Leslie seemed to find it hard to speak, "...Do I have to?"

Not everyone has the courage to confess their inner vulnerability and humiliation; it's equivalent to completely exposing oneself to an outsider.

Shu Li completely understood Leslie's inner discomfort.

He probably thought he could just talk about his feelings without giving details, which was why he entered the church. Moreover, there was no foundation of trust between them; it was normal for Leslie to be unwilling to speak.

So, Shu Li quickly said softly, "You don't have to. If you don't feel like talking about it, you can just refuse. Then, you can communicate silently with the Lord in your heart. I won't disturb you."

He zipped his lips and didn't make a sound.

But shortly after he finished, he saw Leslie just staring at him wide-eyed.

So Shu Li asked, "Don't you know what to do?"

"I can teach you."

"You can close your eyes and tell the Lord your pain."

Shu Li looked at Leslie, "Close your eyes now, and listen to my voice to find the Lord's direction. You might feel it's all empty, a void, darkness, nothing. That's normal. Because you're still unfamiliar with the Lord, you can't actively approach Him. Some people never manage to connect in their lifetime; it's very common."

"But you should know that when you speak, the Lord is listening."

Leslie still seemed somewhat distracted.

How could one atheist guide another atheist?

Shu Li thought it was absurd.

But then again, wasn't there a child who believed the stars in the sky were his mother's soul?

Shu Li felt he couldn't give up, so he added some ritualistic feeling, "Would you like to place your hand on the Bible? Maybe you'll feel different, more grounded."

Shu Li handed the Bible from the pulpit to Leslie, "Then close your eyes."

Leslie followed Shu Li's words, placing his hand on the Bible, imitating Shu Li's action of closing his eyes, and finally shut them, isolating himself from the outside world.

Time passed second by second.

Lost in the darkness, feeling bored, Shu Li's mind started calculating trivial church matters again.

Since Bishop Holm arrived, his increased expenses—

The church food was all made by him.

Water at the church was also free.

However, Bishop Holm had an excellent appetite. They had consumed a lot of oil, salt, and wheat flour. There weren't enough eggs either.

Should he buy another little hen from the Band family to achieve egg self-sufficiency?

But if he raised another little hen, the annual feed and medical expenses would be 50-80 silver coins.

That was too extravagant!

Shu Li involuntarily tightened his grip on his money.

It would be better to buy an ordinary breed for 2-3 silver coins when the broilers were ready for slaughter. In winter, he could make chicken stew or hot pot.

Just bear with it!

Shu Li felt that after Bishop Holm left, his standard of living would return to normal.

In reality, the 100 gold coins (i.e., 1000 silver coins) from Carson City, though a windfall, were quickly spent in hundreds of silver coins on repairing the residence and the church. He still had to be frugal...

Shu Li's thoughts drifted further and further away.

But little did Shu Li know that Leslie wasn't focusing on communicating with the Lord at this time.

His originally tightly shut eyes trembled slightly, his lashes fluttering like a small bird's tiny feathers. Now, he secretly opened a crack. Through the gap in his lashes, coupled with a slight tilt of his head, he could see the priest deeply immersed in solemn and sacred prayer.

Leslie hid quietly, his breathing light, as if afraid to break this balance, lest he fall into an abyss of no return—

He was sure he had lied.

But did Father Alis notice that he had lied?

Was he sincerely hoping he would get through this?

Or was he decently covering up his clumsy lie? Just like Finnian's first encounter with Father Alis, knowing Finnian was lying, yet still appropriately and maturely letting him back down gracefully?

Leslie felt he had done something stupid.

Even though everyone said everyone makes mistakes, Leslie felt this mistake nailed him to a pillar of shame, letting Father Alis see his despicable, low side.

He wasn't like this originally.

Why did he do this?

Leslie's strong self-esteem made him feel remorse and shame.

On the other hand, Shu Li hadn't noticed this at all, still immersed in his wildly straying train of thought.

He estimated about three minutes had passed, which was probably enough time. He slightly opened his eyes, wanting to glance at Leslie's state, but was suddenly stunned.

—Leslie was crying.

He controlled his expression well, no sobbing, no tears falling, only reddened eyes and tightly pursed lips revealing his despair.

Shu Li's heart felt as if it were twisted.

Seeing the candlelight flickering on Leslie's lashes, he thought, just three minutes ago, this child had been as cold as a piece of iron, and now even his pursed lip line was trembling imperceptibly.

Oh my god! How many sad things had Leslie thought about to be so upset?

Yes, he must have been having a hard time living with his stepmother in Steadham, which was why he ran away. Shu Li hadn't brought it up himself, but that didn't mean it didn't exist.

Now he had to live with that stepmother again; he must be very sad, yet powerless to change it.

And Shu Li had just been daydreaming, thinking about food, which was really unprofessional.

He had come to comfort a child but had almost gotten distracted thinking about winter.

Shu Li deeply reflected on himself: "..."

But he also knew that Leslie had a strong sense of self-esteem. If Leslie knew that Shu Li had witnessed his involuntary vulnerability, he would immediately pack away all his emotions and retreat back into his little shell.

So, Shu Li gently looked away, pretending he hadn't seen anything, just casually glancing at the room's light and the quiet corners.

He sighed silently to himself but didn't make a sound.

After a moment, he spoke slowly, his tone as light as a feather, almost devoid of emotion.

"The Lord asked me to pass on a message to you."

He paused, as if planting a seed of hope in the silence, "He said, some people don't not love others; they just don't know how. Perhaps they think control, humiliation, and discipline are ways of showing love. But you must remember, if you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, upset, or even disgusted, it's not your fault. You don't have to accept this kind of love, and you're not obligated to endure it."

"Allow yourself to seek better treatment."

Shu Li's voice was gentle yet firm, "See your own heart clearly. True love lies in trust, respect, and understanding. Sometimes loving someone doesn't mean seeing them every day. Distance can be a form of love, letting go can be a form of love, silence can be a form of love."

"You are a good child, always have been."

At this moment, his gaze fell firmly into Leslie's eyes, without judgment, only observation and acceptance.

"The Lord will not watch you suffer. Even if you cannot understand it now, please believe that you are not alone; He is always there."

Leslie was stunned.

He lowered his head, his eyelashes like wet feathers in the rain, motionless.

That sentence from Father Alis, "You are a good child, always have been," was like a ray of light, piercing the tightest crevice in his heart.

He remembered countless times he had wandered aimlessly day and night, hoping that one day his father would unexpectedly descend from the heavens before him and say with concern, "What are you doing here?" He also remembered countless times he hadn't defended himself against the villagers' misunderstandings, hoping that one day his father, driven by anger, would come to see him, even if just to reprimand him. Even punishment would count as caring.

But no, there was nothing.

Leslie had even thought about just dying! To be free from these unattainable feelings, to completely move towards freedom.

But now, there was someone standing before him, as if acknowledging his pain on behalf of the Lord.

His eyes grew hotter, but he didn't even dare to blink, afraid that everything would melt into his tears and instantly vanish into thin air.

The Lord will not watch you suffer.

Then, he probably wouldn't either.

He had more than a second to seize the person before him.

"Lord, if you truly exist, please save me..."

Shu Li watched Leslie's expression gradually loosen, as if he was finally willing to shed his heavy armor, revealing the wounded child inside.

He knew that the door to Leslie's heart had finally opened a crack.

To keep this newly opened soul from getting cold, Shu Li walked up to him, placed his hand on his head, and gently recited a prayer, "The Lord loves the world and will not let His lost lambs be lost forever. He will bless you. Amen—"

Leslie looked up and said, "I don't want to go back. Can I stay here?"

"..."

No, that would make me a kidnapper. Besides, raising a child is expensive!

Shu Li's head started to ache.

But of course, he couldn't put it so bluntly. He asked gently, "Can you tell me why you don't want to go back?"

"I, um," Leslie lowered his head, avoiding Shu Li's gaze, his fingers unconsciously stroking the Bible's gilded spine, "If I go back, I'll be locked in the attic. My stepmother said she's my elder, and she can discipline me however she wants."

Leslie had suddenly become a master of the easy lie.

This sentence was Lady Adelaire's exact words, but Leslie had altered the context.

Leslie looked up again, "She said she's capable of anything, that she's even pointed a dagger at my father."

"..."

This, this...

Shu Li was shocked inside.

Should he comment on Lady Adelaire's toughness or her maddening behavior that frightened people?

Or should he say that Duke Claude actually accepted someone who challenged him like that, essentially he was still someone who easily let others off?

But more thoughts focused on Leslie's words.

Shu Li couldn't see that Leslie was lying, and given his personality, he wouldn't even defend himself, let alone lie.

What benefit could Leslie possibly gain from him?

Shu Li looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw only two words—penniless.

"Don't be afraid," Shu Li quickly comforted him, "If you encounter difficulties, you can write to me. I will communicate with the Lord. Even the servants who lock you in the attic—"

Seeing the tears shimmering in Leslie's eyes, Shu Li made the mistake that all adults make—he made an empty promise first, saying, "Listen, I know the biggest secret of the servants who lock the door. You can make them listen to you."

"If you need anything, feel free to write to me anytime. Don't be afraid."

If he couldn't handle the big shots, he could at least keep these minions under control.

Leslie's gaze fell on the Bible, recalling what Shu Li had done in the church, and asked, "Do I just tear out a piece of paper to communicate with the Lord? Can I take this Bible?"

The bullet fired hours ago had finally hit Shu Li right between the eyebrows.

He should have just used a piece of paper...

This Bible was so expensive!

But Shu Li, holding the belief that "one should never skimp on education or let children suffer," generously said, "It's yours."

"But it has my name on it, do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Watching Leslie leave, on this night nearing autumn, Shu Li thought—

Now he had to spend money to buy a new Bible.

After working for so long, he was now paying out of his own pocket to go to work...

Just then, Shu Li recalled Leslie's light footsteps as he left holding the Bible, and his heart relaxed, "Oh well."

As he closed the church door, Shu Li glanced at the most distant statue.

Anyway, ever since he took over this run-down church, he hadn't expected to become rich.

He really hoped that after the Savoy parish was upgraded to a diocese, a wealthy bishop would come!

God bless!

Wish, Amen.

*

The next morning, Shu Li was awakened by the sound of carriage wheels grinding on the cobblestones.

He groggily pressed his face against the window frame and saw three fully loaded freight carriages parked outside the church. The leader of the Carson City Black Cavalry was giving the drivers a "shush" gesture with a grim face—his fierce demeanor looked as if he were escorting royal treasures.

As soon as the door bolt moved aside a crack, Roy quickly stepped forward, executed a standard knightly salute, and said softly, "Young Master Leslie remembered that your roof had been leaking before and hadn't been properly repaired since."

Shu Li couldn't help but mutter to himself, "..."

When had he seen that?

Knight Commander Roy paused delicately, "He said, 'Rather than giving it to unknown townspeople and letting Finnian take advantage, it's better to leave some resin and tar blocks for you'—his exact words."

Shu Li's gaze moved from Roy's amused lips to the carriages.

The carriage boards creaked under the weight, the tar blocks shining like asphalt between the burlap sacks.

A full five hundred kilograms, enough to fix every leaky roof in Savoy twice over, and still have enough left to make Holm a waterproof bath.

"He calls this 'some'?" Shu Li heard his own voice sound ethereal.

Roy lowered his head, hiding a smile, "By the way, the young master doesn't want to publicize these things. He told me this is an anonymous donation. He hopes you can pretend you didn't see me and don't know where these things came from."

Shu Li: "..."

Putting aside Young Master Leslie for a moment, this Knight Commander certainly had his own way of doing things.