CH-046

46. God’s Mandate Is Upon You

Shu Li had promised that after tomorrow’s wedding, he would go out alone with Finian to the market fair and have some fun.

If he had not agreed on the spot, Finian would have kept whining and acting spoiled without end.

So after thinking it over, Shu Li agreed.

In truth, Finian was not normally this kind of child.

He could indeed be clingy at times, but most of the time he was quite independent and had things he wanted to do himself.

Even by himself, he could handle things very well, and he could entertain himself too.

But Shu Li discovered that whenever there were other children his age present—whether older than him or younger than him—Finian would become especially dependent in front of Shu Li. He would do all sorts of things to draw attention, sometimes deliberately pretending to be very magnanimous, or suddenly speaking louder, adding bodily gestures he normally never used, with a lot more of that performative, attention-seeking behavior.

Shu Li realized with some surprise that Finian could actually be triggered into anxiety and pressure by social competition.

But on second thought, if he also considered how Finian had pulled plenty of pranks and mischief before, then it was actually clear that Finian was a child with high emotional needs and high self-esteem.

Even though everyone in the family doted on him, he still needed irreplaceable favoritism, so he could not help testing people.

On the one hand, Shu Li could see through his psychology and knew he could not unconditionally satisfy his emotional needs and let him develop the habit of using his emotions to manipulate others into giving him attention. On the other hand, he could indeed feel Finian’s care for him, so Shu Li was also willing to provide timely feedback and gradually reduce his anxiety over competition.

After all, although Finian was smart, he did not understand his own emotions and did not realize that he had an unconscious tendency to compete for affection.

Among children, this was extremely normal.

As long as he was guided correctly step by step, helped to build a stable social circle, and taught mature ways of coping, that would be enough.

But when Shu Li turned his gaze to Leslie, he had to admit—

“Compared with Finian, Leslie’s psychological issues are more serious.”

Leslie was a classic case of defensive independence. He did not like others interfering in his affairs, and he did not need others either. He would not actively ask for care; he habitually suppressed himself and had low trust in other people. He looked like the sort who did not need concern or love, but he was a child after all. He was still immature, and he still had emotional needs of his own.

Once he had an emotional outburst, he often became extreme, emotionally unstable, and impossible to understand. People never quite knew what he was thinking.

Getting along with this kind of person was extremely draining.

A typical example was this—

Usually, when parents prepared something for such a child, the child might disdain it and act as if he did not care and did not mind at all. So the parents would think he did not like it and put it away. But after a day or two, the child would suddenly have an emotional explosion and demand out of control to know why they had not prepared it for him. Even if they gave it to him immediately, he still would not calm down.

These seemingly inexplicable reactions were all concentrated eruptions after suppressing needs for too long.

This, too, actually required a great deal more patience and precise guidance.

Perhaps because he understood these psychological issues, whenever Shu Li heard about healing-type or redemption-type novels—where the transmigrated protagonist “saved” the target through unconditional giving and bottomless tolerance—he would always find himself frowning easily.

For one thing, doing that in real life would instead easily accumulate pressure on oneself. In practice, it was difficult.

It truly required the guide to have enough patience and enough emotional bluntness.

For another, a relationship built in that way was unhealthy.

Because that method was not truly helping the other person establish mature social psychology.

So whenever he saw transmigration protagonists fake their deaths, or become too intimate with certain characters, and the supposedly healed targets would without exception go mad or turn dark, Shu Li would think to himself: See? He knew it. They had not done it professionally enough.

…

Leslie saw Shu Li looking at him in silence, and his lashes moved slightly despite himself. “What is it?”

Shu Li had heard from Finian how Leslie had brought him into the church. “I heard you provoked Lady Adeli on purpose so she would personally come confirm the situation, and that was how you brought Finian in?”

“Following her in and out was much more convenient than following the clergy,” Leslie answered flatly.

That was indeed true.

Because no one would block the path of the current Duchess and the daughter of the Archbishop, nor could they criticize the people she brought with her. If it had been anyone else—even if it had only been the duke’s legitimate son—they could still have been easily refused entry.

Because their influence was too small. They could not inspire either fear or obedience in people.

Seeing how indifferent he looked now, Shu Li reminded him, “You do know that in the future you’ll have to live with her, right? If you do this, it will be very easy for her to target you.”

Shu Li believed he definitely knew that, but Leslie might not have realized how serious the consequences could be.

The truth was, in the beginning, when no one controlled him, he had had plenty of freedom and plenty of choices. But now that there was a mistress of the house, everything in his life was subject to another person’s hand, and life became much trickier.

“She doesn’t like me anyway.” Leslie kept his little face cold and said, “Even if I flatter her, it won’t change any facts. So why should I fawn on her?”

“...”

He had a point.

That was also what Shu Li usually said.

But when Shu Li said something like that, it was generally because he could completely resolve the matter himself and did not have to worry about the consequences coming back on him.

Leslie’s self-esteem was pricked by Shu Li’s silent doubt. The unconscious sense of closeness he had felt toward Shu Li disappeared at once, and his heart filled with anger.

His jaw tightened, and he lowered his voice so much that every word came out barbed. “Don’t act like... we’re the same.”

At this point, his immature Adam’s apple bobbed, as if he had forcibly swallowed down something far sharper. “Anyway, even if I run into trouble, I’m not going to cry and beg you for help.”

“There’s no need to take it that far...”

Shu Li felt a headache coming on.

Leslie did not want to say anything more to him at all. He turned his face aside and said coldly, “I’m leaving.” Then he turned and left without looking back. Even his footsteps were heavier than before, sounding like he was venting his emotions.

In fact, after taking only two or three steps, Leslie already regretted saying something like that. After all, he had just wanted to understand Father Alis better. But his self-respect would not allow him to turn back, and he did not want to show even a trace of caring in front of Shu Li.

But not long after his frustration set in, hearing the slow sound of the wind around him, he began once more to turn himself into an observer almost unconsciously. His entire person withdrew from his emotions, and while he calmed down inside, he even began to hate the emotions that had appeared just now.

Why had he expected anything from other people?

Anyway, no one cared about him. Why humiliate himself for nothing?

“Expecting things from other people is really so pointless...”

Leslie’s footsteps gradually steadied again. On the outside he looked no different from usual, but he was thinking about stuffing himself into a place where no one could see him.

He had heard that some people liked to hide inside the wardrobe when they were children, because it felt safe there.

But Leslie had never had that impulse.

He did not want to stay at home. Never.

That was not a place where he could hide in peace, and now even less so.

Meanwhile, Shu Li could hear from Leslie’s footsteps that he was emotional. Since it was the first time he had clearly heard unhappiness in Leslie’s steps, Shu Li, acting as the reliable adult, thought about catching up and talking to him.

After all, Leslie was still a child.

If Leslie had been an adult, Shu Li would not have bothered with it at all.

He would only have complained: you’re already this grown and still can’t control your emotions? Acting just like a child.

Shu Li looked at Leslie’s receding figure and was hesitating over whether he should call out to him more forcefully when he suddenly felt someone lightly tug at his sleeve.

At some point, Herens had already come to stand by his side. His fingers gripped Shu Li’s sleeve tightly and then quickly let go again, as if afraid of offending him, before lowering his head.

“I’m sorry, Lord Alis. There are some things I’d like to talk to you about.”

The pleading look in his eyes made it impossible for Shu Li to refuse.

Although he hesitated inwardly, he actually had things he wanted to say to Herens as well.

So after a brief pause, he agreed. “Then let’s find somewhere quiet to talk.”

*

The two of them went side by side to an unoccupied corner, and Herens spoke first.

What he wanted to say was, in fact, much the same as Shu Li had guessed. It was about Father Conny.

Herens did not probe at all. He said directly, “Father Conny and I are old acquaintances who used to be very close. He’s three years younger than I am. Before that incident happened, we were always like real brothers.”

Shu Li listened seriously, hearing the remorse and self-blame in Herens’s words.

He regretted that while carrying out his clerical duties, he had not immediately offered help to the child of Conny’s sister.

He also regretted that he had failed to realize Conny’s brother-in-law was planning an assassination and had not stopped him in time, resulting in both husband and wife dying tragically in the street.

He also regretted that when faced with Father Conny’s rage and hatred, he had chosen to run away instead of face it.

Herens covered his face. “It was me who made him become a heretic.”

There had been a record in Conny’s family of assassinating an important clerical figure.

No matter how outstanding Conny himself was, he should never have been able to become a priest. Unless someone had created a false identity for him.

And on the very first night he met Herens, Father Conny had told him that he had replaced the original priest who had been on his way to the Hargrove parish.

Herens confessed frankly, “Actually, when I touched the body, I realized from the stiffness that it did not look like someone who had just died. So for a while I suspected that Conny had killed the bishop himself, and I wanted to cover up the crime for him.”

“Even during today’s trial, I had actually thought about stepping forward myself. If suspicion started to turn toward Conny, I was going to step out and say I was the one who had done it.”

Herens still clearly remembered the words Conny had said after their argument on that first night—“I curse you to hell day and night, Herens.” He lowered his head, his voice almost trembling beyond control, and said, “This is what I owe him.”

Ever since Shu Li had known Herens, the man had always kept silent about his past. But today he had laid all those past wounds bare before Shu Li without reservation.

This was not merely an expression of trust. It was also the first step in Herens making peace with himself.

He had always been trapped in that rainy day.

Perhaps after speaking everything aloud today, his world still would not simply clear from storm into sunlight. But at the very least, in that rainy day, there would now be one more person keeping him company.

Shu Li did not actually think Herens owed Conny anything.

Because Herens had no obligation to take responsibility for Conny’s life, and Conny’s own choices and actions also had their own agency. In the end, the decisions he made and everything he experienced were his own affairs, unrelated to anyone else.

But at a time like this, Shu Li could not relieve his pain simply by saying, “You don’t owe him.”

The root of Herens’s pain was that he truly was a good person. He blamed himself. He could not accept that Conny, once his close friend and like a younger brother to him, had taken the path Herens believed to be one of no return. This guilt and pain tormented him deeply, because he could not change Conny’s choice and could only stand there and watch.

“Herens, do you think Father Conny is suffering now?” Shu Li suddenly asked, with a trace of concern in his tone.

Herens froze, as though struck by the question.

“If you think he isn’t suffering, then there’s no need for you to keep grieving over what happened in the past. He has already walked out of it. He’s just taking pleasure in tormenting you, and there’s no reason for you to bear so much for him. We can find a way together, together, to walk out of the shadow that past cast over you.”

Shu Li paused, then looked steadily at Herens again and said, “But if you think he is suffering, then go save him! Even if that means you might have to join the religion of the heretics, that’s fine too. I can see that you want to save him.”

Besides, heretics were not necessarily all entirely evil.

“Even if that means joining the heretical church?” Herens could hardly imagine that Shu Li could say something so shocking and so defiant of orthodoxy.

“It’s only a thought, not saying you must carry it out,” Shu Li said softly. “I once heard a story from another faith. It said that a certain god could not bear to see the souls in hell suffer and wanted to purify all demons too. So that god made a great vow and personally entered hell to deliver them. Naturally, we can’t reach the level of a god. But what about doing everything in your power to save one person? And if you want to go, you can go.”

Herens stared blankly at Shu Li and murmured, “But I’m Lord Alis’s knight. Without your order, I can’t leave you. At that time you also gave me this...”

He lowered his head and tightly gripped the cross hanging at his neck, as though it were proof of his very existence.

Shu Li was struck for a moment by the force of this cultural gap.

He had thought Herens had called himself a knight on his own. He had never imagined that a single cross he had casually given him would be regarded by Herens as an oath and a lifelong fate.

Shu Li quickly recovered. His tone was gentle, yet firm and beyond doubt. “Herens, I gave you that cross not because I wanted you to become my knight. It was only because I felt that at that time, you needed it more than anyone else.”

“...From the very beginning, you were never my knight...”

Herens’s face turned ashen. Light trembled in his eyes, as if something inside them had shattered.

Shu Li’s next words fell immediately after, like a hand catching the cracks opening in his heart just in time. “But I still need your loyalty.”

He reached out a hand to Herens, his gaze warm, and said, “...The loyalty of a friend. Is that all right?”

Looking at that outstretched hand, Herens slowly realized that the “Lord Alis” he kept naming had never once wanted to become some lofty superior. Rather, he had wanted, just as he did in this moment, to fully catch him and understand him as a friend.

Herens looked at Shu Li, his eyes faintly red. “A friend? Can I swear loyalty?”

Shu Li smiled faintly. “Between friends, there isn’t such a complicated procedure. If you’re willing to tell me what’s in your heart and give me your trust, that is friendship. And if I’m willing to keep your secret for you until you no longer need me to do so, that is friendship too.”

“That sounds a lot like confession...”

“It doesn’t, because during confession I’m not allowed to give my own thoughts. I can’t judge in God’s place. But a friend can offer you advice.”

Herens’s eyes glittered with tears, and a trace of resolve flashed within them as well.

To Shu Li’s surprise, Herens slowly dropped to one knee before him, removed the cross from his neck, and held it up with both hands toward Shu Li.

“...Please give it to me once again, can you?” Herens said. “This time, not as a knight, but as a friend. I want to receive it again.”

Shu Li took the cross. After a silent moment, he placed it back around Herens’s neck.

“Herens, as a friend, the last thing I want to say to you is this: the wedding celebrations will still continue for three more days, and you can keep in contact with Father Conny. During this time, use your own eyes to look, and your own heart to feel carefully. Confirm your own direction again. Whatever choice you make, follow your heart.”

“And lastly of all, I still want to say: may the Lord God protect you.”

“Go. Time waits for no one.”

Herens nodded heavily. When he rose and left, his back looked more resolute than before.

In truth, Shu Li had sensed Herens’s answer long ago.

That first night, when Herens disappeared, Shu Li had felt that he already had an answer of his own.

He just needed someone to give him a push and help him walk forward bravely.

This was the true power of a spiritual guide.

Not solving all of the other person’s difficulties for them, but giving them a little more courage and confidence to face those difficulties themselves.

*

“And you’re not afraid that from now on he’ll truly set foot on a painful road of no return?”

From the garden’s other exit at the corner, Vice Archbishop Hugo walked out, and with a single sentence pulled Shu Li back to reality.

Shu Li was not surprised by Vice Archbishop Hugo’s appearance. Still watching Herens’s departing figure, he said, “Herens is a good person. He knows what he should do.”

This time, what he was going to save was not only Father Conny, but also himself.

So he would be even more careful, and he absolutely would not make the same mistake again.

After withdrawing his gaze, Shu Li looked toward Vice Archbishop Hugo and said, “Besides, Father Conny should be working within the diocese as the duke’s helper. He probably won’t be doing anything that truly harms the people’s livelihood.”

Vice Archbishop Hugo widened his eyes. Though surprised, he accepted it very quickly. “When did you realize it?”

“From the moment the captain of the duke’s personal cavalry said, ‘The murder weapon is gold,’” Shu Li said. “At the time, when I said the murder weapon was the Bible, the clergy around us all said that was a holy object. Father Conny was able to immediately put forth the guess because he believed it was a murder over an uneven division of money. Then that captain said, ‘Since the murder weapon is gold, it’s probably hidden in Deacon Gideon’s room too.’ The connection in what the two of them said was too natural. It was obvious they shared information. The captain simply let slip too much.”

“Because no one had conclusively said the murder weapon was gold. But the captain did. And Deacon Gideon’s reaction afterward also confirmed that the murder weapon really was gold.”

As Shu Li recalled the scene, everyone had been shocked by Deacon Gideon’s boldness and irreverence toward the Lord, so no one had paid attention to the cavalry captain accidentally letting something slip.

Shu Li looked quietly at Vice Archbishop Hugo and said, “The only thing I was uncertain about was that in the morning, the captain still didn’t know what the murder weapon was or who the murderer was. But by the time he entered the council hall, he knew what the murder weapon was.”

Although he phrased it like a question, his tone was that of a statement.

Vice Archbishop Hugo already understood perfectly and instead asked back, “Then who do you think told him?”

The moment the question fell, Shu Li saw Vice Archbishop Hugo smiling at him.

So inwardly he became certain as well, and smiled. “I think it was probably that clever man who has a very good relationship with the duke. Perhaps he was afraid the case wouldn’t be solved, so he investigated it himself and successfully found the murder weapon, then told the captain.”

Vice Archbishop Hugo extended a hand in Shu Li’s direction.

Shu Li naturally opened his palm, and a gleaming silver coin was placed on it.

Looking more closely, the pattern on the coin was very distinctive. It was a privately made family silver piece, not currency circulating on the market.

And precisely because of that, its value far exceeded that of ordinary money—not only because it was precious, but because it carried symbolic status.

Only, on the coin’s engraved lines there still clung a dried dark red stain.

—It was blood.

“Do you remember this silver coin?” Vice Archbishop Hugo said to Shu Li. “That night I thought I had lost everything, and then you won it back for me again. At the time, Deacon Gideon saw that I didn’t take it, so he took it himself and pocketed it. One of the coins fell in Bishop Leopold’s room.”

Shu Li dropped his gaze to the silver coin. “...That’s evidence too.”

“With Alis’s miracle there, then this has become irrelevant evidence.”

Shu Li felt a little guilty whenever the subject of miracles came up. “...Vice Archbishop Hugo...”

Naturally, he could not directly explain his own deliberate mystification, but he also did not want to be elevated too highly.

Whether intentionally or not, Vice Archbishop Hugo’s gaze turned thoughtful for a moment, then returned to the topic of why he had told the truth to the cavalry sub-captain.

He said first, “I knew Claude intended to arrange for heretics represented by Father Conny to replace our church.”

This made Shu Li puzzled. Why was Vice Archbishop Hugo so certain that Father Conny had already cooperated with the duke?

With that thought in mind, Shu Li’s eyes unconsciously paused on the bandage wrapped around Vice Archbishop Hugo’s head.

Vice Archbishop Hugo admitted it very briskly. “That’s right. It was Father Conny who pushed me. I just didn’t die. So I used that leverage to test and threaten him a little, and learned Claude’s plan. I also reached a preliminary cooperation with them—I told them who the murderer was and saved them some of the trouble of investigating.”

“...”

Just a few sentences?

After all, with Vice Archbishop Hugo’s status, if he exposed Father Conny as the one who had pushed him, Father Conny would inevitably have been punished at once.

Father Conny understood that too.

“So if Father Conny didn’t want to be exposed and didn’t want his operation to be interrupted halfway through, then he had to offer more intelligence in exchange.”

Shu Li guessed that Vice Archbishop Hugo had probably used similar wording and thus obtained the information about Father Conny’s cooperation with the duke.

Even while injured, he had remained so calm, using his own situation to gain the maximum advantage from the circumstances.

As expected of the old master who served as the golden finger mentor of this book’s number one male lead!

Shu Li sighed inwardly.

“At the time, I was thinking about how I could possibly preserve everyone. I considered using Father Conny as a channel, or relying on my old friendship with Claude, but those were all gambles. I’ve never had good luck with gambling. But then you brought a miracle with you and let me turn the tables against the wind. I firmly seized a chip that could let me win.”

At this point, Vice Archbishop Hugo’s eyes shone with a light called hope. “Alis, think about it. How could a diocese not abandoned by the Lord God possibly be occupied by heretics? You gave all the clergy in the diocese a sense of mission to continue carrying out their duties, and that also became the confidence with which I negotiated with Claude. Leave this part to me.”

Shu Li nodded.

He naturally trusted Vice Archbishop Hugo’s abilities. He simply felt the man was elevating him too much.

He had originally wanted to say something more, but Vice Archbishop Hugo suddenly looked at Shu Li with solemn seriousness, making it impossible for him to say any extra words.

“Alis.”

When Vice Archbishop Hugo spoke that name, it was with the firmness of a proclamation.

“For the time being, stay in the Savoy parish a little longer.”

Shu Li was briefly stunned. “...”

Why so suddenly?

“No matter whether you still hold doubts now, or whether you have already seen through all the laws of the world, I believe you were born carrying light and act bearing wisdom. In the future too, you will surely open a path with truth and break deadlocks with compassion.”

Slowly and solemnly, Hugo placed a hand on Shu Li’s shoulder and said, “So for now, do not wander in confusion over how much shadow this world may yet leave upon you. Please continue walking forward!”

“God’s mandate is upon you.”

“Wherever you go, you will be unstoppable—!”

In that moment, Shu Li could not say anything in reply. He did not understand the metaphor or hidden meaning in Vice Archbishop Hugo’s words, yet he felt a solemnity he had never felt before.

Perhaps this was simply the most sincere blessing an elder could give to a younger person.

That was what Shu Li thought.

Many years later, when he stood lost and bewildered upon the seat of papal candidacy, that thunderous voice seemed to ring in his ears once more.

“God’s mandate is upon you. Wherever you go, you will be unstoppable.”

So it turned out that a certain fate had already been lightly pressed onto his shoulder by this old teacher long ago.